Chapter 9–Martha and Mary: Working and Worshipping
Laurie’s thoughts here: http://maybeillblog.blogspot.com/2009/07/twelve-extraordinary-women-martha-and.html
Martha and Mary are sisters and their brother is Lazarus who came back from the dead. The amazing thing to me is how much they are siblings. I can see their distinct personalities in my own children and in other families as well.
One of the chores that my sons have to do is to fold and put towels away. They get a load of towels to fold and put away in a rotating order. One of my sons puts his up immediately. Another one puts them up within the hour. A third puts his away “when I feel like it.” And the fourth…..well, right now he has two loads waiting to be folded and after I do laundry tomorrow, he will likely have three.
Such is the pattern we see with Martha and Mary.
John MacArthur suggests that Martha is the oldest and I will agree that she seems to act in that roll. He also suggests that the three are quite young.
This all makes sense when you look at the way the household seems to run. Martha invites Jesus into her home. That’s the sort of thing that an oldest child would do–when the son is too young to do so. Had Lazarus been old enough to be a “head of household” that would have been his job. So, it’s probably likely that Lazarus was a teen, maybe just bar mitzvah’d and Martha saw this as a great learning experience for her young brother. Most likely their parents died already and considering that many of our founding fathers lost both parents before adulthood, this is pretty likely. Also part of God’s plan.
So, Martha sees that Jesus can teach Lazarus many things and invites Him in and begins to make preparation for the meal. If she was the oldest, and it seems likely both from the fact that her name is listed first and the house is referred to as hers, her actions make sense. She was the one who was first under their mother’s skirts, probably living there and learning to cook vegetables, baste meat, take bread out of the oven before she was hardly out of diapers, so when their mother died, she took it upon herself to take over that kitchen as hers. She obviously had the personality for serving and saw that a meal was needed and went to extreme measures to “do it up right.” After all, she was expecting the best for her brother and you pay well for the best.
Meanwhile, Mary has an entirely different personality. She is a dreamer and a contemplater. She begins to listen, possibly while helping set the table and just can’t drag herself away. So, she sits down and becomes intently engrossed in what Jesus is saying.
Martha has probably been dealing with this “dreamer” attitude of her sister’s since Mary was born and has just had enough and then some of it. This is the older sister frustrated beyond belief at the younger sister. She has probably seen this so many times, it’s just driving her nuts. It takes Mary three times as long to wash dishes as it does Martha. It takes Mary forever to hang up clothes or do the wash or clean her room or to just do anything.
Martha wants it done and she wants it done right and she wants it done NOW! After all, guests are here and there are drinks to be served, food to be cooked, feet to be washed, oil to be given, and what is her sister doing???? Sitting down!
Having been raised around some Martha-type personalities, I can see the looks she gave her sister. I also had an aunt who was very much a Mary. She was always thinking and dreaming. It’s a wonder she lived through her childhood for various reasons so I can imagine that Mary was soooo taken with Jesus’ words that she didn’t see or hear a word Martha might have said to her.
Finally, in frustration, Martha goes to Jesus, the chief guest, and demands that He tell her sister to get up and help. She meant this to highly embarass Mary so that she would take her serving duties more seriously. I know mothers like this. They want their children to understand that work comes first and the faster you get to it, the faster you get it done and can go on to something else.
Well, it didn’t quite work out that way for Martha. You see, Jesus had a better idea–He always does.
Jesus told Mary that while she was troubled with many things–dinner, drinks, oil, water basins, etc.–Mary was only concerned with what was needful–what was the best thing.
Jesus was grateful for the hospitality, there’s no doubting that. Anywhere He could stop and wash His feet, oil His hair and face and sit down for a bit, with a drink of something, was wonderous for Him.
But He didn’t need to have the best brisket and potato salad this side of the Nile to spend time with friends and teaching about God. Mary understood that. Martha didn’t.
You see, Martha was what the British call “house proud.” She wanted everything to be perfect and she wanted it done now. It wasn’t that Mary didn’t care so much as Mary had different priorities.
Martha was a “there’s dust on the table and it must come off right now” type of woman. Mary was a “yeah, it’s dusty but Jesus is here and the dust will still be here when He’s gone” type of gal.
Jesus rebuked Martha gently and then that’s it.
Until…….
Lazarus became ill and died.
This was a real problem for the sisters and they sent for Jesus as soon as he was ill enough that it was going to be a problem. They knew Jesus could heal the sick and they needed their brother. They really NEEDED that brother–young though he might be. In their society, the brother was their protector and the one who would have to bargain for a husband for each of them. Without the brother, they were in all kinds of trouble.
Well, Jesus didn’t come and Lazarus died and three days later, Jesus shows up. In typical fashion, consistent with her personality, Martha went running right out there to Him. She wasn’t going to miss this. She was on top of whatever was going on. She probably planned the whole funeral and laid out the tomb in fact. So, she was right there as soon as Jesus’ arrival was announced. Mary was back in the house contemplating.
You know, I find it interesting that for as famous as Lazarus is, he never says a word–ever. Just thought I’d throw that in for nothing.
Mary came when Martha went after her. Note that Martha is always having to go after Mary–after her to help serve, after her to see Jesus…..
But then we come to the final scene in their presentation in the Bible. Martha is serving at a friend’s home and Mary is once again at Jesus’ feet–bathing them with Spikenard for his burial.
There are a lot of things different at this scene though. Martha isn’t sending for Mary or asking her to do anything other than what she is doing. Judas has a problem with it but it was about to be revealed that he was a thief and wanted the money.
With Lazarus’ resurrection, the Pharisees and the Temple priests were losing their grip on the people and their power and needing to get it back. With Bethany only two miles from the Temple, Martha, Mary and Lazarus probably heard a lot of the rumors that Jesus’ life was in danger. Serious danger. Jesus had even gone off to hide for a while.
I wonder if the oil Mary had was leftover from the burial of Lazarus. Just another thought to throw in there.
What we see here in the two sisters is not a change in personality but a change in heart. Martha is still a servant. She still bustles about serving food and keeping the guests happy. But she has learned to accept her sister Mary as the different personality that she is. She no longer resents her lack of enthusiasm for hospitality, realizing that there are many different types of hospitality and that a guest without an audience or a corpse without burial ointment is not an honored guest after all.
I wonder if Mary told Martha what she was going to do before she did it. If she did, I’m sure Martha gave her her blessing.
What we need to remember from this lesson is that God made different personalities in different people and even in the same family. The Apostle Paul remarked on that when he noted that we are all members of the Body of Christ just as our bodies have different members. Some are eyes and some are ears and some are feet.
Martha was the feet of the operation in their house. She was up and going ninety to nothing. Mary was the ears. She was listening and contemplating.
Neither is wrong. Both are part of what the Body of Christ needs. If everyone serves, who listens? If everyone listens, who serves?
Each of us is part Martha and part Mary but all of us lean more toward being one than the other. And while it is easy to embrace the family members and church members who are like us, we need to equally embrace and encourage those who are not at all like us. For they are useful for God as well.
